Just think of Kaltenecker
by PrismProbably
Summary: Oneshot. Shiro is working on making adjustments to Atlas with Allura, the only trouble is that he keeps getting distracted. He needs to think of something that'll help him focus. His first and only attempt is thinking of a tranquil, inconsequential space cow and suprise suprise, it really doesn't help. (Featuring Shiro's internal monologue)


A/N: I've always wanted to explore Shiro being a bit of a mess when he's around Allura, and I like to think his brain and inner voice are definitely not as organised and coherent as one might expect ( I also think he'd have the most sarcastic inner voice ever.) This fic is an attempt at expressing that. I hope you guys enjoy!

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'So along with any repairs and certain bits of machinery that we can re-calibrate I think we have a pretty good chance at installing the new Altean compatible... Atlas... systems- Shiro, do I have something on my face?'

His heart skips a beat, and he blinks rapidly.

"Uh, Not any- Not anything that I can see princess."

He squints for good measure. 'Your face is all goo- all clear. All clear." He lets out a breathy laugh as a quick finish to his haphazard reaction.

Was he staring? Well technically, no. If one has to listen to someone speak isn't it standard etiquette that one maintain sufficient eye contact and give the speaker their undivided attention? Was he listening? Yes. Was he maintaining his gaze? Absolutely, from her hairline to her vivid blue eyes down to her nose to the curve of her admittedly super soft looking mouth. Yes.

Proper etiquette right?

Maybe, he thinks, for every single distracting thought (not Allura related obviously) he'll just have to ground himself.

S _omething..._

 _Anything..._

 _... Kaltenecker?_

 _Why not?_ He decides. Nothing like an unassuming not-so-bothered cow to keep him in his senses.

Yes. Kaltenecker will do.

Right.

Allura clears her throat, and gestures to the screen pulled up in front of them. It's a blueprint of the Atlas as it was, before it had fused with Altean magic. Shiro concentrates on the framework of it, the straight overlapping lines and numbers that indicate dimensions to scale in their proper units- and for a second thinks of all the ways somebody could potentially chase around Kaltenecker and simultaneously keep an indoor farm in a vessel so immensely spacious. _The great Atlas: a monument to the advances in human technology and also: space farm._ The thought is amusing to say the least, and he bites his lip to keep from laughing.

What. Is. Wrong. With. Him.

He inhales deeply, let's out a breath to calm himself for a second.

 _Focus. Focus._

 _F-O-C-U-S._

Allura hears him release a shaky breath, and a quick glance down to his flexing hand makes her worry.

'Shiro are you alright? We can take a break if you're not feeling well.'

He was feeling well, better than he had in days actually. Things had slowed down a bit, and that really simply meant that there was no immediate threat hanging over their heads. For now at least. Operations were going as they were, and currently his job was to reconfigure the Atlas and run a full diagnostics on the ship system with Allura. Her company felt better than he remembered. It felt great. And right now, feeling dangerously close to laughter for no reason was one thing, making a fool out of himself in front of the princess was another.

"No princess I -" he turns to meet her concerned gaze and it's blue, radiant and glistening. It's also very much directed at him.

He falters a bit, pauses and starts again.

"I think we could discuss this further with Dr. Holt, check whether there's any potential for streamlining the interface to maximize compatibility and see where it goes from there." he manages. He keeps his eyes on her, trying to get a hold on himself is starting to feel like a fool's errand. His mirth still lingers somewhere near the edge of his mouth and he fears he might just laugh in her face.

 _Nope, not doing that. Think of the cow you fool._

Right _. Kaltenecker._ _Breathe. Look at her and concentrate on what she's saying._

Silver hair, silky wisps and soft curls.

 _That's not what she's saying. Get it together Shirogane._

 _Remember: Kaltenecker._ _Breathe._

It's not working. _Focus harder._

He does.

On bright eyes and a fine mouth.

 _Kaltenecker. Breathe._

'Shiro?'

The softest voice.

'Yes Princess?'

'Are you sure you're alright? You seem a little...distracted.' She's stepped closer to him and is leaning slightly forward. Suddenly his face feels warm and his heart is slightly panicked.

 _Good job staying calm genius,_ he thinks, _it was 'patience yields focus' not 'stupid cow will bring you calm'._

 _Stupid Kaltenecker._

'Excuse me?' Allura sounds a little taken aback. ' Could you please repeat what you said? I'm think I heard the word stupid and um, correct me if I'm wrong but I'm sure you said 'Kaltenecker'?'

 _Oh I said it out loud. Great. Go ahead, explain yourself. Idiot._

' Well that's because... I did...say that.' He starts slowly. She looks at him expectantly, and crosses her arms.

 _Don't say space farm don't say space farm Do. Not. Say. Space Farm._

'I was just thinking about what if we needed a space for Kaltenecker up there? She's been a part of our adventures so far. She's an integral part of our team. ' He manages a smile out of embarrassment, but he's committed to the sudden, dumb joke. 'We can build a whole wing for her even, can you imagine? A space farm?'

 _Goddammit you had one job._

' A space farm. ' Allura repeats,a beat passes as she rests her chin on her hand. 'Well Shiro I can't say I disagree, she's been so cooperative with us and honestly where else would we get those wonderful shakes of milk?' There's a smile on her lips and her gaze is teasing. She's taken his bad-internal-monologue-disaster-turned-joke in her stride and he's taking a moment to comprehend this amazing turn of conversation.

He grins at her ' I thought you hated milkshakes?'

' I do' she says promptly, ' I figured you might need them in abundance once Slav is officially employed as a part of your crew.' Slav's mention is enough for Shiro to start, 'I'll toss him out the window and no one will suspect a thing. Kaltenecker can stay on the ground.' That gets Allura laughing, it's a nice sound, one he hasn't heard in a while. 'Not very loyal are we?'

'Meh.' He shrugs.

'Unbelievable.' Allura's laughter is no close to subsiding, and she bumps Shiro with her shoulder and gives him the brightest most perfect smile he's ever seen. He finds himself grinning back and before he knows it, he's laughing too.


End file.
